


the moonlight is rising (i'm going to you)

by sunkissing



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: @god tell me these were the tags i used last time, Alternate Universe - High School, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, making out on top of a rooftop + fluff + angst in that order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 07:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15138626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissing/pseuds/sunkissing
Summary: "It's just ㅡ why d'you only say you love us when you're high?" Yukhei murmurs, the same time Mark says, "Yukhei."His irritation dissipates almost immediately, and he's left speechless. He can hear the sharp edges around sleepy, thoughtless words, like Yukhei's been wanting to say them for a while but they've only slipped out of a moment of weakness and Donghyuck's heartbreaks. The weight of hearing those words must show on his face, because Mark gives Yukhei a warning look.At last he finds his voice and splutters. "That'sbullshiㅡ c'mon, Mark, tell him he's being ridiculous."Mark doesn't reply.





	the moonlight is rising (i'm going to you)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry i disappeared for over a month! exams really tried to kill me but a bitch is living ... albeit barely but she's still living... but please enjoy this fic that was birthed after seeing a series of markhyuck vs hyuckhei arguments on my dashboard and ignore how unbeta'd this is.  
> alternatively, feel free to listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgIu7DBxr7o) as you're reading!

The thing is, Yukhei thinks he's funny.

The  _problem_  is, he thinks he's  _hilarious_ when he's high and makes a constant effort to get Donghyuck to agree.

"That's not funny," Donghyuck deadpans because trust  _Yukhei_ to be the person that's able to knock him out of his buzzed state that Sicheng had said would leave him perpetually unaware. Instead, he finds himself more on edge than anything else when he reaches to snatch the joint out of Yukhei's hand, ignoring the displeased sound the latter makes. "You're just too high right now."

"Wait, I thought it was funny," Mark pipes up from the other side of him, and preens when Donghyuck runs his fingers through his hair, eyes slipping shut for a second. The curls are soft as always, and he knows that if he leans forward a little, the familiar scent of Mark's cologne would overpower everything else. "I'm not that high either."

"Yes, you are, baby," Donghyuck croons with a much softer tone this time now that it's someone who's actually funny without trying and the corners of his mouth quirk up when he hears Yukhei make a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whine. "Scoot, you oversized toddler."

Yukhei, for all he's worth, does somehow manage to hook an awfully long leg over him even as he's sat up and Donghyuck inhales in the smoke and exhales into the cold air, comfortably like he wouldn't want to be anywhere else but on the dingy rooftop of Jaemin's place.

The thump of the party is audible underneath them and if he focuses hard enough, hand pressed against the rough concrete until it bites into his skin, he can feel the unmistakable vibrations of music underneath his fingertips.

It's too loud, even for something that's just made up of vibrations ㅡ too grounded,  _real_ , not the distraction he needs and he almost misses Mark thoughtfully mumble, "I told Jaemin not to play Redbone when I wasn't in the room, that bitch."

But to be fair he thinks Jaemin doesn't deserve to be titled a bitch (he does,  _really_ , just not for this reason) when he probably doesn't even know that the three of them have disappeared off to the rooftop, even though it's a move they often make.

As exciting things often do, it primarily starts with Donghyuck.

Contrary to popular belief he doesn't like parties as much as his friends seem to do, because somewhere between midnight and one in the morning, Jeno was completely smitten with Renjun or passed out, Jaemin had disappeared off somewhere and he found himself in the kitchen with a scratchy throat and sweaty palms.

It was ridiculous, because Lee Donghyuck doesn't get nervous over something as stupid as looking alone at a party.

But he couldn't see Mark or Yukhei anywhere and after the first few hours of a party, explaining that he already had boyfriends and  _yes, boyfriends as in plural, with an s you dickhead,_  always got too boring after repeating it. He turns heads, because he's  _him_ , but the thought of the two people he wants to see the most not seeing him leaves him feeling something horrid in his stomach. 

Somewhere along the line, he ran into Sicheng holding two bags of something that looked foreign enough to raise his suspicions, but not enough to stop him from buying them with the latter's promise of a full refund if it wasn't  _good shit._ Then ㅡ one step, two step,  _one foot in front of another, Donghyuck_  ㅡ he found himself stumbling, two pairs of hands reaching out to grab him and he had whispered, "let's go up," into their ears after showing them the packages.

_They comply. They always do._

Mark snatches it from Donghyuck's hand, lifting it to his mouth and instead intertwines his fingers with Donghyuck's instead ("Oh, smooth," Yukhei comments) as he takes a dramatically long drag. It's easy to see the way he relaxes all together, the burdens of being the football team captain, student council member, basketball player released from his shoulders.

(He doesn't say it as often as he should, but Mark goes through more than he thinks he can handle.

Donghyuck and Yukhei both know it, they've forced him to slow down before when he works himself too hard, too many repeats of 'it's just five more minutes, stop worrying' leading to nosebleeds, migraines, flashes of white light behind his vision.

The worst thing is that even then, he denies it.)

"Mark has such nice hands," Yukhei says absentmindedly, eyes glazed over when he sees the two of them locking digits together.

"Thanks," the smirk can be heard in his voice as his hand breaks free of Donghyuck's, and trails down to rest against Yukhei's cheek. His cheeks burn, flushed even if they have the chill of the morning on them and Mark's hand feels peacefully cool against it. It drops further, before his thumb swipes over Yukhei's cupid bow.

Yukhei's mouth parts open at once upon noticing this and there's not a second of hesitation when Mark's thumb dips into the cave, encased between soft lips and heat, heat,  _heat_ ㅡ while the rest of his fingers continue resting on his cheek, index finger stroking a pattern.

From here he can see the profile of both of their faces, the slope of Yukhei's nose as his eyes flutter shut, every sigh Mark does when his thumb dips just  _that_  much deeper. It's a picture.

He almost drops the joint, but Donghyuck is quick to lift it from him and set it somewhere safer, eyes drooped and low as he watches the pair stretched out across him. They're so effortlessly beautiful that Donghyuck thinks he can forget how to take in air if he can just watch them,  _always_  in their element,  _always_  slotting together like two parts clicking together in a clock.

"Aren't you leaving me out too much?" Donghyuck thinks his voice is a little slurred from the drink Renjun had mixed earlier but he's barely able to keep the displeasure out of his voice when Yukhei lets out a soft moan and it just gets too much for him. His mouth is turned down slightly, the way it usually is when they're not paying him enough attention.

The pair sit up, and his voice catches in his throat when he sees the pink of Mark's mouth and the red of Yukhei's, inviting him with nothing else said. He never knows who to begin with when they look at him like that, like they know all the things he's thinking. "You know we'd never do that, Hyuckie," Mark says and like clockwork, he stretches out an arm, unblinking.

Donghyuck is on him before any of them know it.

He slides right into Mark's lap, the space made just for him familiar as somewhere he's deemed himself the sole inhabitant of, because God knows Yukhei couldn't possibly fit. Fingers dance across his thighs, on his waist to press his body closer to another. His arms reach up of their own accord to loop themselves around Mark's neck and he tilts his head, questioning.

Not a second passes before Mark suddenly sweeps him up and then mouth is pressed against mouth, exploring each other like they've never done it before. Somewhere in the desperation of  _tasting_ , teeth click against teeth and Donghyuck has to break free to laugh, head lolled backwards, exhaling. In his peripheral vision, he can see Yukhei taking another careful drag.

But Mark doesn't seem to like that his attention is wavered because he's back on him again, not giving him another chance to breathe and he kisses him hard enough for him to lose his line of thinking, until the only thing that he can think is  _MarkMarkMarkMark._

Donghyuck opens his eyes and promptly has a heart attack when he sees Yukhei's chin hooked over Mark's shoulder, watching the pair of them quietly, the only response being a twitch of his lips into a grin when he sees Donghyuck's startle. 

It's dumb, because they're literally  _dating_  but it's Donghyuck's turn to have heated flushed cheeks this time and he mumbles in embarrassment, face dropping forwards to rest against Mark's chest. He feels him rumble with laughter, and hears the words 'he's so cute, right?'

They're both exhilarating, breathing a little too hard to try get the lost oxygen back into their lungs even though they'd both rather just continue what they were doing. The pace at which they exhale is erratic, unknown and desperate to get back to their old positions.

But Yukhei, surprisingly, all six feet of him, slinks himself until he's almost sandwiched between them and Mark leans forwards to rest his chin on his shoulder this time. He grins with the excitement of a child on Christmas, with the excitement of someone who knows he's going to get kissed within an inch of his life. "Hi." He says.

"Shut up," Donghyuck replies smartly before his lips crash on him. When it comes to kissing and especially when he's not sober, Yukhei's always been subdued, the one out of the trio to remind each other to take all the time that they have in the world. 

Except now, this is the most willing Yukhei has been, bruised mouths working together without a break. His tongue darts in between Donghyuck's mouth, daring him to open up and when he does, he's shocked by the smoke that fills the crevice.

Yukhei just  _shotgunned_  him.

He doesn't know why the idea of that is so  _hot_  ㅡ probably because he's never done it before, his brain helpfully supplies ㅡ but he breathes in every single last bit and breaks the kiss to exhale it all out, fingers digging into Yukhei's shoulder as he does so. He hears Mark whisper a, " _fuck, baby_ ," in awe of the sight and can't help the smirk that creeps on his mouth, because  _he_  did that.

"You're doing so well," Yukhei says against his mouth, licking into it when Donghyuck opens up. Donghyuck's fingers dig even further into his shoulders, dragging down his back until he's sure he's left marks on the dumb Adidas hoodie the elder than insisted on wearing.

Donghyuck's leg isn't as long as Yukhei's, or as strong as Mark's, but it's enough for him so that he's able to wrap it around both of them, drawing them in impossibly closer until Mark's chest pressed against Yukhei's back, and Yukhei's chest is pressed against Donghyuck's chest like a puzzle piece.

"You're unbelievable," Mark whispers, amazed.

He uses this opportunity so that he shifts their positions, even if it's a flurry of uncoordinated limbs and someone almost elbows him in the face (which he chooses to ignore) he ends up in the middle, between Mark and Yukhei. His hands curl into both of their shirts, twisting the fabric with his fingers.

Mark shuffles in his position and kisses Donghyuck again, albeit more sweetly, like practically running out of oxygen during a kiss has shaped him to become more soft edges than anything else. His tongue swipes across the crack between Donghyuck's upper and bottom lip, and he can taste the cheap alcohol and the remainders of the joint that's left forgotten on his jacket next to them.

They hear Yukhei with the joint again, but Donghyuck forgets he's horribly exposed and almost jumps out of his skin once more when Yukhei breathes it out just above his collarbones, dragging his sweater down with one hand. Then, he drags his tongue down Donghyuck's tendon on his neck, visible from the strain of morphing his mouth against Mark's, tasting the salt of sweat and sucking a masterpiece across his collarbones.

Donghyuck has the decency to whine something about leaving marks, and how everyone would know, and that he's not in the mood to go back to the party after unsuccessfully trying to hide  _The Big Slut_  aura that radiates off him. But he's hushed by both Mark and Yukhei, the former of the pair hooking his thumbs into Donghyuck's jeans' buckles and drawing him in closer.

The taste of Mark and the slickness of Yukhei's mouth above his heartbeat leaves him boneless, worked out between the two and he thinks that if anyone were to offer him anything at that moment, he'd refuse in fear of breaking such a union.

Then he hears Mark's low voice, calling out to him when he feels pliant, easy on the ears and even easier on the heart. "You did so well, baby," he smooths a hand over Donghyuck's hair, fixes the ruffled mess atop his head and presses a kiss against his forehead, "you did so well for us. You always do, don't you? Our baby."

Yukhei finally detaches himself from one of the many marks he's made underneath Donghyuck's sweater, tongue sweeping out across his bottom lip in satisfaction as Donghyuck manages to grumble a, "not your baby."

"Yeah, you are," Yukhei yawns, thumb sweeping underneath Mark's eye when he sees a stray eyelash there. He's already on his back, no doubt tired by the efforts gone through to forget the mess happening underneath them. "You're  _our_  baby."

It's cheesier than it should be, but the thought of belonging ㅡ especially to two people like Mark and Yukhei ㅡ and being doted on fills him with something eerily similar to saccharine, sweet to the point where it's almost sickly but he doesn't want it to reach that stage where they get sick of him.

_(He doesn't tell them, but sometimes he wonders whether he should stop this before they do.)_

Donghyuck's never been good at giving, never been good at receiving, either. He doesn't remember his best friends' birthdays sometimes, he barely remembers his, he finds public displays of affection a hindrance more often than not and so it all bottle necks until he can't stop thinking, rewinding over what he's done in the world to deserve people like them.

Mark seems to sense the quietness in the air and it's unsurprising because he's always been the best out of the three to notice when the atmosphere has changed. He digs his hand out from underneath Yukhei's back, and his fingers play with Donghyuck's carefully, spreading them out, wrapping around them again. "Donghyuck?"

"I'm fine." He blurts out and winces right after because if there had been a way to hint he's not fine, that had probably been it.

"What's wrong?" Yukhei asks, now that he's belatedly picked up on the changed aura, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Is it the baby thing? Hyuckie, if you're uncomfortable with thㅡ"

"It's not, I ㅡ I don't mind that, at all." Donghyuck's delivery falls mildly flat when he says that even though he means it, and he winces again at the concerned look Yukhei and Mark throw each other.

He hates it when he causes them grief over something that should be nothing at all, when he's alluring and captivating one second, lip tucked in between his teeth but then secretive the next, closed off and suddenly in a bad mood. He doesn't mean to keep them on an edge all the time, waiting and adapting to what he's feeling.

He just doesn't want to be as destructive as he  _feels_  he is.

"It's nothing bad," Donghyuck says, blood rushing to his head and suddenly everything thrums all at once, like the influx of emotions he had felt less than five minutes ago is back in waves. "I just ㅡ I want you guys to know that I love you." He's met with silence. "You ㅡ you know that,  _right_?"

Neither of them reply, and for a horrid second, Donghyuck thinks he's made a terrible mistake.

It's not the first time they've said it to each other, but it's never been this quiet before, never left him feeling like he needs to tiptoe and laugh, bursting out a 'just kidding!' any second now. He sees Yukhei giving Mark another look and this time, it unnerves him more than it should. "What?"

"Nothing," Yukhei is quick to reply, always on his feet, ready to give an answer. It does little to calm Donghyuck's nerves. "It's justㅡ"

"ㅡWhat?" Donghyuck cuts in again, impatiently.

"Donghyuck," Mark warns, eyes darting between him and Yukhei cautiously, "don't be impatient."

"I just want to hear what he has to say," Donghyuck bites back, abruptly irritated. "What?"

"It's just ㅡ why d'you only say you love us when you're high?" Yukhei murmurs, the same time Mark says, "Yukhei."

His irritation dissipates almost immediately, and he's left speechless. He can hear the sharp edges around sleepy, thoughtless words, like Yukhei's been wanting to say them for a while but they've only slipped out of a moment of weakness and Donghyuck's heart  _breaks_. The weight of hearing those words must show on his face because Mark gives Yukhei a warning look.

At last he finds his voice and splutters. "That's  _bullshiㅡ_  c'mon, Mark, tell him he's being ridiculous."

Mark doesn't reply. 

It's only a two second pause, but it's two seconds too long for him and the damage is done. Donghyuck blinks, and it finally clicks together. "You  _ㅡ_ youtwo don't think I love you." 

Yukhei shakes his head instantly. "Donghyuck, that's notㅡ"

"Not what you meant?" He finishes the sentence for him, scoffing. "I call bullshit, Xuxi, that's  _exactly_  what you meant."

"Donghyuck," Mark sounds drained by the unexpected turn of events, but he can still see the way he's trying to keep everyone's heads above water before they dive into any unnecessary conclusions. "You know that's not what Xuxi and I meant."

"Do you guys think all I do is get high and drunk?" Donghyuck scrambles up, and Yukhei makes a surprised noise, shaking his head again. "Is that why you think I don't love you? If you guys are going to say that's the reason, you need to do a lot better than that."

"Nobody's saying anything abouㅡ"

"I don't do this shit because I'm trying to drown myself in my sorrows or something," Donghyuck continues and Mark at once replies, "we know, Hyuckie." He steps on the joint, crushes it underneath his heel because he's impulsive and thinks,  _fuck Sicheng_. "If you don't want to date somㅡ"

"Hyuckie,  _shut upㅡ_  Jaemin told us that you did it again, alright?" Mark cuts him off, and it's different from the usual lilt of his voice. This is  _frustration_  he hears, and Donghyuck knows he's fucked up.

His chest aches. "What d'you mean?"

"Don't act dumb, Hyuckie," Yukhei mumbles and it's only now that Donghyuck notices the dark under his eyes, the weariness in the way he talks, the  _guilt_. Both pairs of eyes flicker towards Donghyuck's wrists, skillfully covered by his sweater. "You know what we mean."

(Remember, Donghyuck, you're never at fault. 

Never, never,  _neverㅡ_ )

"Jaemin's lying." He lies between his teeth, head tilted up, a set look in his eyes. 

Mark exasperatedly sighs. "Think properly, Donghyuck, why would Jaemin lie to us?"

"Because he likes to start  _shit_!" He answers, an outburst that had been clearly unexpected by the way Yukhei startles. "Please, Mark,  _Yukhei_ , you know ㅡ you know I wouldn't."

"Obviously we don't," Yukhei says in a low tone, "I saw them. Earlier, when you were kissing Mark and your arms were around his neck. You ㅡ Jesus, Hyuckie, they're new and you ㅡ "

"You told us you stopped," Mark takes over, because it's clear Yukhei's getting too upset over this, eyebrows drawn together, a crease formed between them as a result of stress. "You told us the last time you did it was months ago."

"It was." Donghyuck insists, fingers curled into fists by his side. Mark notes this down, notices the way the youngest's stance has changed entirely to something more distant, like he's trying to defend himself.

But suddenly, all at once, it's like the fight leaves him before he just  _breaks_. 

" _Fuck_  ㅡ I'mㅡ I'm tired, okay, hyung?" Donghyuck hisses and it's the first time in a long while he's tacked on an honorific for either of them, though it's without any poison and he almost stumbles when he tries to sit down again. Yukhei already had his arm out, prepared to steady him and the thought makes him  _sick_  to his stomach because they'll always be ready to cater to him, in case he tries something or does something  _stupid_. "I'm just tired, and frustrated, and I don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate. Everyone has their life ahead of them andㅡ"

"You feel like you don't?" Mark asks, and Donghyuck doesn't answer. "Hyuckie, look at me.  _Please_." Donghyuck musters up the last bit of dignity that he has left, and his gaze darts over to meet Mark's.

He berates himself as soon as they make eye contact, because all Mark can wonder is,  _how didn't we notice how skinny he's been getting recently, how he's always falling asleep in school, how he doesn't talk about his hobbies anymore?_

"Come here, Hyuck," Yukhei murmurs, more quietly, and he reaches over so that his fingers brush through Donghyuck's hair. Much to his surprise, though, Yukhei's fingers dip underneath his sweater sleeve and he almost jerks his arm back, but Yukhei's hold is too strong.

Yukhei fingers run down his arm, until they feel the faded scars and the newer ones. He rubs circles onto them, around them, soothing ones and there's so many words being expressed that Donghyuck has to resist the urge to start  _crying_. 

( _They're always good to you._

 _Are you good to them?_ )

Mark hums under his breath, evidently exhausted by it all although the calm facade he always has on never seems to slip, especially not in times when everyone else needs reassurance. Donghyuck uses his free hand to link with Mark's and watches the way the other's expression morphs into one of surprise.

"I don't even deserve you two." Donghyuck mumbles, head dipped, sounding like there's something lodged in his throat that feels an awful lot like guilt. He stops them before they start protesting. "You don't need to lie ㅡ or reassure me, I know I've done nothing to deserve you guys." He swallows it down because it's for the better, because he knows he's selfish, but he can't let them go,  _refuses_  to let them go. "But ㅡ it's fine. I don't mind it. Not anymore."

His fingers lock with theirs again, and they hold on. "I'm such a  _fucking_  mess, I'm sorry, Christ, I hate crying," he sniffles, and Yukhei has to bite back an alarmed laugh. "I just. I mean it, I love you two, even when I'm high, even when I'm not high. I want you to know that."

"We do, Hyuck," Yukhei reassures him, and he exchanges a look with Mark, who nods in reply. "We know. And we love you too, alright?"

Underneath their fingertips, the thrum of the music vibrates.

**Author's Note:**

> title is taken from shinee's good evening i know promotions are over but stream it anyways  
> [[ cc ]](http://curiouscat.me/sunkissing) & [[ twitter ]](http://twitter.com/solcentrism)


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